run around, get dirty. make some bad decisions.

i had a good night. i danced a lot. i talked a lot. a lot a lot.

your good friend texted me until i got home safe. it's the little things i guess.
i am trying to realize all the people i have willing to take care of me. and i am trying my best to make sure their intentions are genuine. everything is so blurry.

i didn't die though. which is good. a few people gave me the stink eye, but i think its just the way their faces were stuck. everyday that i don't die tragically, or almost die tragically, i feel like its just pushing the envelope that much closer to it happening for real. its like everyday you don't take your meds the better your chances of going insane. you know? i have horrible nightmares about it regularly.

the vibe tonight was so good. a few people asked about you. how you were doing. if you were ok. if WE were ok. i turned it around, "he's fine. more importantly HOW ARE YOU!?" ugh...


with a big fake smile and a shaky hand i go on.




time for bed. its 245am. lets hope i sleep past 8am... darn it.



-xo