run around, get dirty. make some bad decisions.

I'm pissed off the people who claimed to be my friends drop me so easy when Mark leaves. I feel bad for the next girl that they do it to. I can't trust anyone. They're all fake. I hate fucking social networking sites. They let me peek in on the shit I have been excluded from. It's stupid. It's so stupid that you all were 15 minutes from my house and didn't even call. Why should you though? You owe no loyalty to me. And maybe I should just come to terms with that already.

Why did you bother telling me all that stuff anyway? The chances that you'll ever be my boyfriend again are so slim they are barely visible (this all by your choosing, by the way). So what should I care if you are running around? I still don't understand that conversation.

I am angry. I am sad. I feel like I let myself venture 20ft away and something pulls me back in. I know I don't go back kicking and screaming... but it's still so confusing.


This is all bullshit to be honest. Pure bullshit. Everyone is going around feeling sorry for you, but I am supposed to be fucking strong and not upset at all. I am supposed to get over it, while everyone is taking you out to lunch, hugging you. Making sure you're ok and taking you to the bar. 2 people have asked me how I am doing. 2 people who are YOUR friends. Because they can't be my friends anymore. 2 people wondered how I was doing about 2 days after it happened, and now they don't give a shit. I have had to make new friends who still don't even care in order to maintain. They don't ask me about it. How easy it was for you to toss me to the street, it was 100 times easier for all of them. My feelings are hurt.



I am too angry right now.





-xo